SURFS UP 🏄‍♂️🏄‍♀️

I’ve often told Bre that I just believe some people get away with everything, while some of us are out here being held to an impossible standard and criticized for years over a single mistake. My personal hero, Mercedes Varnado, is CONSTANTLY criticized for small things, things people don’t understand, and actually being good at what she does. She makes a small slip up in the ring, and the nicknames flow in about how bad she is and how she botches every single match. It just isn’t true. As a fan, I could care less about insider jargon or whatever the fuck. I want to be entertained by real life superheroes. But, there are some wrestlers AHEMCMPUNKAHEM who can seemingly get away with fucking murder while people like Mercedes are not even allowed to challenge toxic fan behavior. 

I’ve noticed this a TON in my teaching and writing lives. One student who is thought of as “bad” can say fuck and get suspended, while one who is “good” can get in a fight and face no consequences at all. It’s disheartening AF in a world where every day we’re supposed to approach these people with a fresh slate. But I already yapped on that. 

Let’s talk books. 

So, Brian Berry is an abuser. We all know that at this point. He fucked with three of the kindest, most genuine people you’ll meet, and I’m positive at this point there was a fifth he ran out of my life and the writing world (we’ll never know about this one because they are not returning to writing, or our friendship. It breaks my heart everyday, but hurt people do what they have to. If you’re reading this tho, we all miss you and hope you’re well). The fact that THREE women have came forward, and people still challenge them as untrue is wild. Three people, but one guy saying “nuh uh” and he gets away with it. 

The meat of what caused this BLAHG. Purpose use of MEAT for lil Jeffy boo. I made a post saying a known author should be challenged for releasing a book about bestiality through a publisher ran by Brian, and abuser. I also made a post about how Brian making a publisher where people can write about whatever disgusting thing they want to is not it. That “pub” is going to allow people who are abusers to write whatever nasty ass fantasy they want with anonymity and I personally think that’s fucked.

Someone decided that my posts were somehow made with ill intent, and the known author should get a slide. I was then threatened to be put on a do not read list, and basically called an asshole idiot moron. 

Jeff, a sweet soul who stands up for what’s right, also got in on this debacle and was also placed on a do not read list. 

But then, surprise surprise, that person posts a thread of BGB saying Lee knows about the abuse, and didn’t believe it because it’s “social media drama.” THEN the person defends Lee! Like… what???????

Literally being told by the abuser that the author is saying actual abuse is “drama” and doesn’t matter. How do you THEN continue to defend the bullshit?????

First, if challenging that puts me on a list, I belong there. 

Second, I’m tired of being told I’m hard to work with or unprofessional for challenging these things. 

Third, what the actual fuck?

Let me say this, I know I have probably built a reputation of being loud. It would probably help my writing career if I was not. But, I’m sorry, I can’t be quiet when marginalized or abused people are being hurt. I cannot sit there on my fucking hands and not speak up when something disgusting is happening. I’m sorry that you’ve been led to believe that getting opportunities in writing or being friendly with popular writers is somehow more important than challenging people and society to be better, I am truly sorry. I am not sorry about how you are a coward who would then go on to basically say I’m in the wrong and act like you’re not working with me or being associated with me because I have the fucking guts to speak out. 

Should I have made a post about this? Yes. 

Should I have challenged an editor who left misogynistic, body shaming, low key racist comments on a manuscript? Yes. 

Should I be annoyed that person presents that as “I can’t take criticism?” Fuck yes. 

Should I make posts when some fuckwit author is working with an abuser? Yes. 

Should I be as adamant as I am about telling authors who work with abusers to fuck off? Yes. 

Your perception of me doing these things is irrelevant to me. I would rather have zero readers and have done the right thing, than have a million readers and let an abusive asshole slip by when I could have spoken up. 

Not fucking sorry, and if you expect me to be, eat shit. 

I sit here and watch as America is descending toward full blown fascism while democrats sit there comparing booger sizes. I watch every day as other teachers ignore one of their own saying gross shit to students (referring to a teenage girl as “cleavage” is not cool and you should be removed from the school immediately. The same for a guy going in a women’s restroom because of a vape. And the person lying about both to cover should get the fucking boot too). I watch people in writing who are too afraid to speak up because they will lose opportunities. 

I’m exhausted. 

Im tired of people letting bullshit slide because they dont want to “make waves.”

Why are we so hellbent on letting people we like get away with so much shit and then refusing to admit we were wrong? If Mercedes fucked up, I would like to believe I would hold her to the same standard I do Trump. People can be kind but also do really fucked up things. Both are possible whether you believe it or not. 

I’m not here to cause problems. I was challenged to be a better person, I had to self reflect, accept that, and work on myself. I expect that from everyone. If you fuck up, own it, fix it, work on yourself. I told BGB when I asked him about these allegations that he could fix himself and maybe help heal the people he hurt. I told him I would help him find resources to do so. He lied, said he didn’t do any of it, and has now gone full blown “let’s see how much I can get away with.” 

I cared about my friend. I wanted my friend to do better. The same can be said for the Darklit/Hedone debacle. I believe people can change because I changed. I believe people need others to support them through that change. Ignoring facts and telling someone you care about that they’ve done nothing wrong because you’re too chicken to have that conversation doesn’t help anyone and it only proves that you don’t care who is hurt as long as your life isn’t bothered. I believe the same can be said of people who see their friends doing shit and drop them immediately instead of trying to help them. I tried to help Brian, I tried to help others, the response has usually been arrogance about them not being wrong and everyone else being an asshole. 

It’s sad. It’s depressing. 

We have to love people enough to tell them they’ve done something wrong. That’s all there is to it. We can’t practice this weird conditional love where we allow our people to continue to hurt others and themselves because they think they can’t be wrong. 

Everyone can be wrong. 

PS - STOP WITH THE “HORROR SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPY ENDINGS” BULLSHIT BECAUSE ITS ANNOYING AF AND SHOWS YOU HAVE A VERY LIMITED AND PREJUDICED VIEW OF THE GENRE. 

k thx.