I hate the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

Two things first:

First, I like my book; there’s a situationally relevant dick-dragon in it. I don’t know if anyone other than my stupid ass could make that work - yes that’s a fucking brag and self-confidence. 

Second, if you’re here for Darklit bullshit, move along. That horse is so dead that it’s in hell and its bones are being used in a B-52’s cover band. 

I don’t know where to start, I’m not using a timer on this BLAHG because all of it needs said, I am however not going back and editing or whatever. I want this to still be my raw thoughts and ranting. 

Around three years ago, I think? Who knows? I hadn’t graduated from college yet, so let’s just say 2021… a group of writer types were in a group chat yadda yadda yadda an idea for pirate horror came up, we then found our way into a new group chat, we then had contracts to release pirate books with Darklit (which at that time was a huge opportunity for a lot of us because most of us were just sort of existing). The books were scheduled for the end of 2022, then the start of 2022… you know? Here’s my release timeline. 

Winter 2022

January (what season is that???) 2023

Summer 2023

Fall 2023

Winter 2023

Summer 2024

And FINALLY 

December 2024. 

Why so many changes? Well, let’s start at the whenever road mark that was the Kickstarter. 

NOW FOR FULL DISCLOSURE WHEN REFERRING TO HEDONE I WILL NOT REFER TO THE PEOPLE, IT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS AN ENTITY, AS I BELIEVE THE PEOPLE INVOLVED ARE NOT THEIR ACTIONS AND THIS IS A COLLECTIVE MESS THAT CAN BE FIXED. DESPITE THE FACT THAT I WAS FORCED TO APOLOGIZE TO A PERSON WHO STILL TELLS EVERYONE THEY CAN IM AN ASSHOLE PIECE OF SHIT FOR SUGGESTING WE GIVE PEOPLE MORE THAN A DAY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS FOR A BUSINESS THEY TOOK OVER A DAY PRIOR, I BELIEVE INITIAL ISSUES WERE NOT FULLY ON THE NEW TEAMS SHOULDERS AND STAND BY MY REQUEST TO GIVE THEM THE FEW DAYS I ASKED. 

Thats one of my Darklit greatest hits, so I thought I’d play it again. It’s also relevant because if they would have taken my request instead of telling me about a stick and blacklisting me places, in like two weeks I would have had scrambled egg on my face and had to give them a genuine apology that they didn’t have to spend six hours telling the EICs of Darklit to “fire” me to get 💅

The kickstarter was suggested at some point as a way to fund a second wave of pirate horror books. Personally, I thought the concept was a lil silly, I still do, but I’ll be damned if the books aren’t solid. The authors in that series, with the exception of two(not getting that goss from here either, boo boo), put their whole heart and souls into those books and it’s a fucking shame the way they’ve been handled since. At this point Darklit was still in charge; all the covers had been finished, all the edits had been completed.

Side quest here, the guy saying he edited EVERY pirate book isn’t being truthful, he did NOT edit mine, and I do not see how he could have edited two of the books that hadn’t even been started by the time he was no longer involved in Darklit and had decided to start posting comments on the Pirate KS that the AUTHORS should have to send their books to backers. I wouldn’t mention this here, but trying to make people force authors who have received no money for their books to send backers books from their own pockets and then lying when asked about it pissed me off a little. I send free books to anyone who asks and will continue to do so, don’t try and accuse me of ripping someone off when I’ve seen a total of $6 from that book. Get fucked. Get shit on by a big ol bird. 

Back to the main quest. 

We all agreed this would be a great opportunity for new voices in the community to get their work to a broader audience, especially after the KS succeeded AND had a ton of hype. 

We saw it as doing what authors should do, helping the community as a whole. 

So we pushed the things back again. 

This is where Hedone took over. 

The Kickstarter was finished, money was handed to whoever the fuck the money was handed to (who even knows at this point?) but the initial agreement of the new books has been flushed down the toilet. So, I ask this, why is that money being used to fund a new publisher? Should some of the authors have been paid?

I think so. 

Hedone has done little to no advertising or marketing for the books on their main page. There IS a Darklit sails or something IG, but that’s has gained zero traction. I understand that Hedone did not want to take over these books, but the fact is that they did and the money has been used for other things. Whether or not that is for the audiobooks or interior stuff, who actually knows? The point is this, authors worked on these books, they spent time on them. To not advertise work you took on just because you don’t really feel like it, it’s wrong. It’s not any of the author’s fault that everything happened… yet the pirate authors are being neglected and spat on. Our books have had zero love given to them, the ARC campaigns have been a joke that were pushed back and ultimately a mess. 

Let’s go off subject. A guy I know said to me about a book once, “stay focused because he will not” and that’s the best advice I can give you because my ADHD injustice sensitivity is on and I will not stay on subject. Sorry. 

So, release order, it changed a lot. 

Let’s talk about something that pissed me off more than anything with this series. 

One author was scheduled to be the first book released. This was always the plan, it never changed… until all of a sudden their book went from first release, to the last. Cool! I bet they had a great conversation about all of that and all parties decided…

The author found out when their partner got the update via a backer email. 

That’s… uh… not great. 

But that’s where the next part of the main quest starts. 

Communication is dogshit!

I’m sorry if I’m an idealist but I believe as an indie publisher, maybe you should make yourself available for your writers?

Well, my issues have been this. 

I had an issue with the my release due to a cover problem. I reached out, waited three days, no response, finally said “you know what? Fuck it,” and sent the artist a message. 

Issue solved in a total of two hours. 

Still didn’t hear from Hedone for like three days because “they don’t work on the weekends” at which point the “fellow educator” card was pulled on me and I was talked down to. 

Let me make something clear, I work at a high school that pays me less than working at Aldi. I have my school email connected to my phone to communicate with my students because who knows what they may need when we aren’t at school. Mostly it’s “hey, I did this assignment.”

I say, “cool! I’ll grade it on _____ when we’re back in school!”

The question I ask here: HOW HARD IS IT TO TELL SOMEONE YOU GOT THE EMAIL AND YOURE WORKING ON IT INSTEAD OF LEAVING A MUTHA FUCKA ON READ LIKE THEYRE BOTHERING YOU?

It isn’t. And I refuse to accept it can’t be done. 

Here’s another issue I’ve had with this. 

One of my books was with Hedone from the time Darklit went under until a few months later when I pulled it. It was with Darklit for two years and never given a date. It was fully edited by Candace Nola (who is fucking amazing despite what some asshole wrote on his blog that he said was to “help the community” but put behind a pay wall). The cover needed purchased, the artist was lined up (I have since had that artist create the cover and it’s amazing and what it needed.) no release date was assigned. When I joined Hedone with the book I was told it would be a priority. I asked more than five times for a month the book would be released over the course of two months. 

A month. 

No day. 

Just tell me the GD month!

I was finally told, the last time I asked and subsequently pulled that “we had more important things to discuss TBH”

I know I’m not a selling author, trust me, I see my KDP reports… but I know damn sure I deserve better than that. 

My next issue. 

Does Hedone not think we talk to each other? Like for real?

Another author had let slip that the author copies they ordered had never arrived in a convo with me. I’m a teacher, I know how to pry shit from people, I maybe shouldn’t have let that info slip to me, but it did. The books were ordered over a month prior with no tracking or proof. The author was then told they were “lost in the warehouse at Amazon” and new copies were ordered. 

…okay

I went ahead and requested the 10 author copies my contract says I receive. Which, honestly, I did not really want because their logo would be on it… I’m in luck because their logo wasn’t on it. I know that this is because despite being told “I’m one of the most underrated and under read authors in the community!” my value was the same as a dried out pile of shit to them. Which is fine, but don’t waste my time with saying other wise plz? 

I was told my copies were ordered and would arrive at the latest two months after the December release (which was of course pushed back for whatever reason. They said it was to “make the book perfect” but absolutely zero changes were made since the initial edit, and second really pointless edit that essentially tried to change my writing voice) it was around February/March when I FINALLY got them. 

They were lost in the Amazon warehouse. 

I asked for proof they were even ordered in the first place in the form of a screenshot or anything. 

I received nothing. 

I did, however, receive a screenshot of my NEW order… which means they could have just as easily done that with the one that was “cancelled” to prove the point. Yeah, they were never ordered. 

This has been an ongoing issue for many of us. We’re told things that contradict with either reality or things we were told before. When asked about sales we’re told that access isn’t available, but I can literally go screenshot my sales on 28 Days Sassier from last week from the phone I’m ranting on in two minutes. It’s bullshit, it’s annoying, and it’s disrespectful to be lied to time and time again like this. 

Take a minute and go look at the Kickstarter. 

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/darklitpress/darklit-sails-a-swashbuckling-horror-adventure-series/comments

Backers still haven’t received my book that was out in December. Money is NOT easy to come by. The average annual hourly pay in America is like $20. That’s essentially the cost of one book. These people have spent an hour of their lives making the money they gave whoever to get a book from a small pub and author they wanted to read. They could have gone to Walmart and bought the new King book for that price and had triple the pages. They’ve waited literal months to receive books that are sometimes not even 200 pages. This is NOT right. I don’t care that you ship in bundles. I don’t care about only shipping on a certain day. These people invested time and money in people with no big five backing and are essentially being punished for it. It’s a fucking shame and I refuse to be a part of that (hence why I do not talk about my book). Readers are the lifeblood of an authors life, and pubs need authors… so therefore, GIVE HALF A SHIT ABOUT BOTH. 

My favorite exchange in these comments on the KS page can be broken down to this…

“Hey, I ordered this one book… it came out a month ago… I haven’t heard anything…”

“It shipped!”

“Oh, well, is there someone I can message about it not ever arriving?”

“IT SHIPPED!”

THAT is disgraceful and grounds for readers to just flat out never read a damn thing you release again. Just communicate. It is NOT hard. If you can’t, hire someone to.

I feel like I have more to say, but I’m exhausted. 

The takeaway I want from this is an apology. 

Not to me. 

Fuck Damien. 

Apologize to the other author’s who gave you their work and it was treated like a McDouble or something. 

Apologize to the other authors for lying. 

Apologize to them, that’s all I want. 

These people believe in their books and love them. They don’t deserve to be treated this way, they don’t deserve to see comments about Darklit not paying authors on their first release ever. They don’t deserve to not be told their book was pushed back a half year. They don’t deserve to have to receive updates from people who backed their books and not the pub. 

Apologize apologize apologize. 

I do NOT want some stupid witch hunt here. The other authors releasing books with Hedone deserve the same love for their work the pirate people do. The people running Hedone deserve the opportunity to make things right. I believe all can be fixed, everyone can move on, and we can all support each other. 

Is it hard to admit you’re wrong?

Fuck yes it is. 

It’s worth it. 

I admit I fucked up in my approach to Darklit, I apologize, and yes, that is even a sincere apology to the two people who I was forced to apologize to. 

I fucked up, and I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry to Steve Stred who is being called a “misogynist” for no reason other than trying to help his peers. You deserve better, and you damn sure didn’t do anything to warrant that accusation. 

Most importantly, I apologize to any and every reader who is just trying to spend a couple hours escaping the world in a book and have to see all of this shit all the time. You don’t deserve to have your escapes tainted by all of this bogus garbage. 

Please, just apologize, talk to people, be open minded, let’s move on from this insanity that has been going on for too long. I’m tired of everyone being on all of these sides of the stick. Let’s throw the fucker out and fix our mistakes. 

Here’s one of my favorite students favorite jokes. 

Knock knock 

Who’s there?

Cow says

Cow says who?

No, cow says moo.